Grit
Grit - courage and resolve; strength of character.
I’ve had a really hard time finding the courage and even willingness to write in my little blog. Maybe it’s the reality of “putting pen to paper” or perhaps it’s the weird antics of a select few who try to use my installments as a way to cast doubt upon my character.
Either way, I’ve been avoidant.
Most of you, that have been following along, know about the journey I’ve been on for the last few years and the reason for some of the censorship in my writing. For a “gut myself open” writer such as myself, this has been painful. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I am not walking through this alone. Furthermore, I know my experiences would certainly resonate with a lot of women who could use a little reminder that they are not alone.
So I’ve been stuck at a crossroads - it’s felt a little disingenuous to filter through my own thoughts every time I hop on this platform.
Today I followed the recipe for my ideal day: I had a slow morning with Aryanna. We meditated together and had a karaoke session before camp/work. I had a hearty meal with a good friend of mine, forced myself to the gym, and crushed a solid work day. Even still, something was missing.
Once the noise of the day began to quiet, I spontaneously felt a lump in my throat and my heart rate increased. The weather is gloomy and it’s as if God himself set the scene for me to feel a little bit of what I’ve been avoiding.
I’ll admit, I have a knack for keeping myself busy with the kids, work, friends, and really anything that drowns out the noise of the hard stuff me and my little tribe have been walking through.
Today, I watched a documentary that was all too relatable. An entirely different set of circumstances but the overarching theme was the same.
There’s something to be said about the resilience found in the heart of the survivors of life’s atrocities. You watch a character walk through seemingly insurmountable pain, survive it, and find the tenacity to seek justice for other humans who may have found or will find themselves in the same traumatic situations.
That’s where the grit comes in. Adversity cultivates “courage and resolve; strength of character.”
I say all of that to say: the core belief that one day I will no longer have to filter this experience, one day our story will be heard, and one day I’ll be able to help other women walk through life after domestic violence - that’s what keeps me going.
I really just came here today to suit up and show up. We will never find contentment when we neglect our purpose.
I hope all of you beautiful people have a great weekend.