How to lose a guy in 10... seconds
I swore to myself I’d never venture into ANY of my “dating” experiences on this platform, but YOLO.
I’ve gutted myself open about my horrible past relationships and the failed relationship with the man of my dreams - why not venture into the comical, binge-worthy chronicles of my vain attempt to date as a single mom?
Truth be told, I am the hopeless romantic that wants to beat the odds and fall madly in love with my person and live happily ever after. I am also the woman that thrives in a world of solitude and dodges real intimacy at all costs.
It was brought to my attention by a very good friend of mine *cough* Taylor *cough* that I “will never find anyone because I don’t put myself out there”.
I can always count on that idiot to tell me the truth, whether I like it or not.
I really started to think about this and I realized that he wasn’t wrong. I have a knack for being ultra-independent and emotionally unavailable.
I made an attempt to put myself out there and the results have been futile… to say the least. I figured this would be a nice space to enlighten my following on how to lose a guy in 10 seconds, based on the personal experiences of yours truly:
Always lay your ugliest cards on the table during the first conversation. Been to jail? Battered woman? Severe trust issues? Be sure to throw it all on the table within the first 5 minutes of meeting your potential bae.
Never make yourself available to actually sit down for a real date. I don’t know about you, but first dates are a drag. There’s paying for a sitter, making yourself presentable, engaging in conversation, and actually accepting a free meal.
Be honest about the fact that you’re still in love with “the one that got away”. They say “honesty is the best policy”. Never leave out the juicy details of how you single-handedly sabotaged a relationship with your actual soulmate.
Divulge all of your single mom horror stories. Up late cleaning puke out of your sheets, thanks to the virus your 4-year-old caught at daycare - send a selfie in the middle of the action. Bring out the big guns - make sure you let your prospect know about the woes of the single mom life.
Okay, so most of this was intended to be satirical. However, behind every joke or sarcasm - you’ll find some truth.
I started looking a little deeper at why I am the way I am and the answer is simple. I’m undoubtedly still working through some regrets and second thoughts regarding my past decisions regarding romantic relationships.
I am absolutely terrified to let anyone “too close” to me or the kids. I think this is entirely normal given my history with domestic violence and my experience with shoving “my person” right out of my life.
I subconsciously present myself as the most undesirable trainwreck there is, in hopes any prospect will run after the first encounter.
I’ve come to realize how ineffective and actually harmful this is.
Instead of trying to “put myself out there” I’ve actually been trying to become all of the things I want out of a partner. I have been truthful with myself and my unresolved feelings for “the one that got away.”
The truth is painful but it’s also the key to the kingdom.
For now, I think I’ll stick to my day job, call off the search, continue to heal, and attempt to resolve the unresolved feelings lingering from the past.
To any prospective interests out there:
IF YOU’RE READING THIS IT’S TOO LATE.