In April, I was injured by a chiropractor: artery dissection, two bulging discs, and a tear in the ligament around a disc. Since this freak accident, I’ve experienced chronic migraines and the culprit is indefinitely the strained muscles in my neck.
I’ve had restless nights and unbearable days with seemingly no relief. I’ve iced my neck, applied heat to my neck, soaked in a hot bath, and my by proxy attempts were futile.
The only viable solution I’ve found to minimize the pain is the good ole trigger ball. If you don’t know what this is, imagine a rubber ball (similar to a tennis ball) holding space between any irritated or tense muscles and a wall. The idea behind this is to trap the knot in the muscle with the ball and apply pressure until the pain subsides.
In other words, you’d have to lean into the pain.
I’m a firm believer that the emotional and physical are so intricately intertwined. Thinking about this concept of “hurts so good” as I’m leaning into a rubber ball against my bedroom wall, I couldn’t help but apply this same practice to some of the emotional aspects of my life.
If you’ve been following along on my journey, then you know I’ve spent the last 3 years dealing with the emotional pain of leaving an abusive relationship. There have been good days, bad days, days I’ve had to walk through fear, invalidating days, death to the old version of myself, grief, and rebirth.
Life always comes full circle and the Universe has no time constraint when it comes to making sure we learn the lesson.
Believe me when I say I’ve tried it all. I’ve tried to ignore it, avoid it, and most of all I’ve tried to resist the very phase of this development with every fiber of my being. As you’ve probably guessed, I’ve had zero success in any of the “solutions” listed above.
The one avenue I haven’t explored - leaning into the pain. Welcoming the exact moment, exactly as it is.
The lack of grace I’ve had with myself and all of my stubborn resistance has cultivated an overflow of suffering. I was speaking to a mentor of mine and I was reminded that this is it, this is the necessary baptism by fire.
“We can’t go over it, can’t go under it, we’re gonna have to go through it.”
Who knew the classic grade school game “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt” would be so viscerally relevant to this 32-year-old mama?
Imagine leaning into your pain with gratitude as you find another unhealed part of yourself. Imagine it “hurts so good” as you remember that pain is the touchstone to your spiritual progress. Imagine thanking anyone/everyone who has seemingly wronged you, because without them you wouldn’t find your highest self.
Imagine leaning into your pain and fostering your own healing.
Hope you get a good lawyer! Sending love!
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11011397/amp/Georgia-Southern-graduate-28-left-paralyzed-chiropractor-accident.html
My wife was taking care of this girl. Your accident was not “freak” and can be life altering, but there are things that can fix it and the chiropractor malpractice liability insurance should be covering any issue.