I haven’t been very public about the little journey Aryanna has walked through over the last few months, but after today I think it’s more than appropriate.
VPK is exciting and also saddening for almost every mom I know.
Moving to Boca, almost a year ago, I started putting feelers out in hopes of finding the best “big girl school” for my girl.
I received a ton of referrals to this old-school private daycare - not far from where we live.
So we decided to check it out.
The school was nice, I definitely didn’t have any alarming feelings or vibes when we went for our first tour. We were actually excited for this fresh start.
For any of you that know me and Ary, you know just how loving, outgoing, free-spirited, and smart she is.
After the first week wore off, I noticed that Aryanna’s teachers seemed to have more and more criticizing things to say and Ary’s excitement dwindled with each day’s passing.
I’m totally the mom that is correcting her kids at home - when they get in trouble at school - before I even ask any questions.
I’ve adopted this mentality because it takes a village.
After all, I do have a fiery, “I said what I said”, makes her own way type of child. Maybe just maybe she wasn’t following directions and needed a little extra help.
After reaching out to the director to ask what I could be doing at home to help lessen the notes sent home and the obvious annoyance on her teachers’ afternoon faces - I was told “Aryanna is a joy to have here, she’s happy”.
Boy, was I misled.
*sidenote* Mamas, ALWAYS trust your gut.
That very same day I went to pick up Aryanna from school and she hung her little head almost to her knees as she walked around for me to pick her up. Her teacher walks out of class and pridefully says:
“Well mom, Aryanna was in timeout all-day for - you know - the usual. She was talking on the carpet. She had to move her pin and once you move your pin you can’t play with your friends at all and she had to sit in a chair all day. She even fell out of the chair because she wouldn’t sit still and when we put her back in it, she fell out again.”
I won’t even begin to dissect the above and all of the emotions that overtook me in that very moment, because I’m sure you can decipher the next chain of events yourself.
Essentially, my baby WAS put into a time-out chair for an entire day, from when I dropped her off to when I picked her up. No show and tell (every kid’s favorite day of the week). No centers. No outside time. No interaction with her friends.
There was never any redirection, second chance, attempts to call an already involved mom, or really any hope for my sweet little girl. Not only did the punishment fail to fit the crime, was completely inappropriate and cruel - Aryanna was completely shamed in front of a classroom full of her peers.
I was heartbroken.
The aftermath that proceeded this event involved a whole lot of self-consciousness, shame, angry outbursts/frustration, but it also unearthed a fearful disposition I hadn’t witnessed in my little princess since we moved to Boca.
There were many hard conversations of Aryanna crying and asking me:
“Mommy why did my teacher put me in timeout for an entire day? I didn’t get any chances, that was not the right way!”
Needless to say, the events that took place for her that day - tainted her perspective.
Let’s skip to the good part.
I finally found a new VPK program for Aryanna and today was her very first day. I have been praying, meditating, and doing everything in my power to prepare her for this transition.
From washing “bad energy” off of her shoes to picking out the best outfit for my fashionista, straightening her hair, all the way down to having her elves stay after Christmas to leave her a note about how proud they are of her - We have been intentionally prepping for the big day.
I nervously drove her to school this morning and my brave little girl walked right into the class, hugged her teacher, kissed me goodbye, and had “the best day ever”.
My eyes fill up with tears as I type this.
This is what bravery in a 4-year-old looks like. This is what breaking generational chains of trauma, victimization, and hopelessness looks like. This is healing.
This is hope.
Today, I watched my brave girl walk straight through her fears with a smile on her face and grace in her little heart.
As a single mom, there are a lot of days that I fall short or that I miss the mark - today was not one of those days.
To say I’m a proud Mama would be quite the understatement.
My Brave Girl
Telling her that if she has a bad day or feeling like she has had bad karma around her that day if not bad but being able to let it go or WASH IT OFF HER SHOES, so it does not follow her is a good way for her to recognize that she can get rid of it. This way it wont follow her and she can leave it in the drain.
Love