Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day
I’m not sure if most of you have read “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”. Alexander is this little boy who literally wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. He wakes up on the side of his bed where he trips over his skateboard, on his way to wash gum out of his hair, and gets water all over his sweater before he even makes it to breakfast.
Obviously, the hits keep coming - all day.
Today, I was Alexander. I woke up to the worst, most helpless news and I kept rolling as the punches kept coming.
I generally have a knack for avoiding the “bad days" by way of making myself too busy to take a second to breathe, much less assess the damage.
Today was an exception. For the first time in my 31 years of living, I allowed myself to feel every grueling, disruptive, and painful feeling that came with the day.
I didn’t lose myself to mindless Tik-Toks.
I also didn’t put on any makeup or delicately orchestrate a facade that everything is fine.
I didn’t hide in my bed waiting for the day to be over.
I resisted the urge to surround myself with the distractions of company.
I worked my normal working hours and I talked about how I was feeling.
I cried more times than I can count today and I didn’t attempt to swallow the lump in the back of my throat - raw, unadulterated, intense emotions filled my day and I’m still alive.
I haven’t written consistently in weeks. Today when the silence crept in, the static was deafening, and I was feeling overwhelmed with uncomfortable emotions - this was the first place I wanted to go.
Today has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and guess what - that’s okay.
I’m still here, pushing forward, and doing my best to be as organic as I can be. Gutting myself open on this public platform is never glorious. However, the reward is far greater than the risk associated with starving my ego.
Alexander’s story doesn’t end on a happy note, but rather Alexander’s mom reminds him that some days are just bad days.
Today has been one of those days for me, but I know that everything that happens exactly as it should.
Deep in the throes of powerlessness, we have the opportunity to lean into our vulnerabilities and walk in the grace laid at our feet.
Whatever you are going through today - you aren’t alone. Reach out and know that you are worth it.